feeling so.. weird!

I wanna cry. Cry until all the heavy things Im currently feeling will be all washed out. Those things I have done in the past abruptly refreshed in my memory and I can clearly see myself stupidly doing folishness. :( I feel so sad. Bad enough that even me and my bestfriend are chatting right now and being him, as a great remedy to my frown, i still feel so down. Those terms we used for teasing each other, those words that are seem to be the most common words to us such as "loser", "loner" and all of those stuffs seem to hit me bigtime. Instead of laughing, I can almost feel myself crying as I read those words as if all of those were told intentionaly and honestly. :((

As I jot down this crap, tears seem to be just an ant away. I hate what I am feeling. Just an hour ago I was as jolly as Jollibee and now.. I can almost win an award for being the most weirdo, loser && emo. I hate myself. For being such a big stupid and loser and everything! :(

gosssh. shame on me for writing crap such as like this. It is just that.. I have to release the agony or watch as my heart decimate in tears. :( xD